About advice...

Over the years I've had more than my share of time on both sides of this issue -- I've given loads of advice and I've received even more.

Here are my rules for myself:

• Giving advice - I try never to give advice unless someone expressly asks for it. Always keep in mind that I'm speaking from my own personal experience. Whatever advice is on offer, it's probably advice that I need to give myself and it may or may not apply to the person I'm speaking talking to.
  
• Receiving advice - I try not to ask for advice unless I truly want it. And if I get advice I didn't ask for, I don't take it personally. Remember - it's probably advice that the other person needs to hear for themselves - it may or may not apply to me.

The cost of advice. The old adage is true - Advice is worth what you pay for it.

As a consultant I've taken it one step further in a professional sense and actually charged more when someone was ignoring my advice. If I keep raising my price then one of 2 things happens. Either they start following my advice - or they fire me. Either way is good because you never want your advice to be cheap enough to ignore.

I once read the book, "Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus." -- And in that book it gave me a little secret when it told me, "Sometimes women just want to talk out their problems." -- "And in nearly all cases men want to fix-things." -- I took the gender out of the statements and I try to remember that sometimes people just want to talk - they don't want me to try and solve their problems - all they want is someone to listen. And sometimes that's all I want - someone to listen.

So - in the spirit of improved communication - I will often start off by saying to someone, "I really don't want any answers - but if you would just listen to me." - And from the other side of the coin in a new friendship there will come a day when they say, "What do you think?" - and I'll reply, "I never give my ideas or advice unless you ask. And now that you have - here's what I think."

Ok - If you're reading this - I'll open the door. "What do you think?"

Change isn't painful - fighting it is...

It's a simple axciom - but I've been needing to remind myself of that a lot lately. Probably becasue there has been a significant amount of change in my life lately.

In the last 2 months I've had changes at work and I've moved home. Both of which are big changes and both of which I've managed with a relatively low level of stress. Relatively that is.

I can always tell when I'm stressed - and so can everyone else - because I get a cold sore right in the middle of my face. Oh well - so much of a calm and controlled exterior!

I'm not sure there is much more to say on the title of the article - it pretty much says it all.

Change isn't painful - fight it is.